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deans-pudding:

“oh, there are pictures.. I keep them where I need the most cheering up.”

For those who don’t know the story behind this:

Before Maggie was born, Homer Simpson worked at the Nuclear Plant because he needed the money to pay for all the debt. Once Homer Simpson finally payed the debt, he quit his job to work at his dream job at the bowling alley. When Homer Simpson found out that Marge was pregnant with Maggie, he became depressed that he had to quit his job at the bowling alley because the salary couldn’t support them. When Homer Simpson begged Mr. Burns for his old life back, he put a plaque that reads “Don’t Forget: You’re Here Forever.” When Maggie was born, Homer instantly fell in love with her. When Lisa asked Homer where did all Maggie’s baby pictures went, Homer explains that he keeps it where he needs it the most.

i cant handle this 

221cbakerstreet:

whatsupd0c:

toopaletofunction:

staythatswhatimeanttosay:

One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.

with liberty and justice for some 

Amen

Not all men

swagginfuckinovaries:

crunchbuttsteak:

haedia:

thewolfofnibu:

stahscre4m:

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

oh my god


Oh my god hahaha

swagginfuckinovaries:

crunchbuttsteak:

haedia:

thewolfofnibu:

stahscre4m:

there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator

see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this

Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance. 

Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.

What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!

She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom. 

He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”

oh my god

Oh my god hahaha

  • Plot twist:

    You actually have someone who thinks you're attractive, and genuinely wants to be with you.

himym-life-lessons:

" Things fall apart, things get put back together. "

jedavu:

PROVOCATIVE STREET MESSAGES BY MOBSTER

em0rexia:

jamtards:

I’m so easily amused oh my fucking god but the pepper what the fuck

image

LoOK HOW SHOCKED THE PLUG SOCKET ON THE WALL IS OMF G

iygrittenothing:

ryuyosei:

killipan-jones:

purrim:

purrim:

why are blonde jokes so short?

so men can remember them

this took an unexpected turn

Not if you just asked for directions.

image

mentalalchemy:

I laughed too loudly at this

mentalalchemy:

I laughed too loudly at this

contraception:

a support group for people who started saying YAAAAAAS ironically and now can’t stop